Most people go to the assignors class with a club for which to actually... assign. Not I. I am an assignor at large. A king without a castle. I went because I wanted to broaden my horizon and learn how to schedule games.
We executed a few skits where we acted out confrontational issues assignors face doing their job. I had to handle an irate coach. When the skit was finished, I was commended on my ability to disarm the coach with what my instructor said was brutal honesty. Those of you who know me here and in real life know that there are two things you can count on with me. I do what I say I am going to do, and I am honest to a fault.
I've been questioned about what I write on this blog and Facebook. My openness is blunt and startling to some people. The way I see it, even with this information, you have no power over me. Don't get me wrong. I lurve you all, but that doesn't give you any power over me. It is my choice. Being honest.
In past blog posts, I've talked about my brush with alcoholism and obesity. Week after week, year after year, I would drink a bottle of gin over a couple of days, smoke a few packs of cigarettes, repeat till I got sick. I let myself go. As soon as I was feeling better, I would repeat the cycle. I got larger and larger. Drunker and drunker. Until one day, I didn't get sick anymore, and the cycle was broken.
That's when the acid reflux started. I knew there was something wrong. My throat didn't heal. For the next five years, I battled reflux on a daily, no, an hourly basis. My nose ran constantly. I was constantly having to clear my throat. Some of my employers moved me into a closet so I wouldn't disturb the other people. I went from bad, to worse, to manageable.
Finally, finally(!), it happened. More than five years later, I got sick again. Yea, that's right. What ever was wrong with my throat seemed to protect me from strep, flu, colds, everything. I hadn't been sick in five plus years. Once I got to feeling better, I noticed that I was no longer refluxing at night. My nose still runs, but much of the time, it is almost normal. I'm not ready to celebrate yet. I've been through all this before. This time just feels different. I'm hoping, and praying, that I've finally beat this, and its not going to be with me for the rest of my life. I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy.
One of the pluses of this whole experience and being a triathlete is that I have finally let go of the drinking. I still have a beer every now and then, but its been three months (or more) since I've had a mixed drink. In case you don't follow me on Facebook, Dee Dee and I went out last night and really tied one on. I just needed to get totally smashed, and I almost succeeded. Dee Dee had a good time. She was worshiping the porcelain goddess this morning.
Do I look at this as a step backwards? The short answer is no. Everybody needs to blow off stress and rebalance their life. I needed this time to right a few things in my mind. Sometimes, the only way to hold onto something is to let it go.