Wednesday, March 18, 2009

How Much Do I Love Thee?

It may sound crazy...  foolish even... but twenty years ago, I had already had visions of this day in my mind.  I even planned for it.  Nothing permanent, mind you, or organized.  It was all in my head.  

I would be this old.
Dee Dee would be that old.
Jessica would be graduated from college (I hoped, and out in the world).
I would have a job, and be doing this.  Dee Dee that.

You get the general idea.

Every couple who has been married as long as Dee Dee and I have, has had the opportunity to experience the gamut of married life.  Even story book weddings have their ups and downs.  The first 8-10 years, I absolutely hated being married.  This is no secret.  Dee Dee knows it.  I grew up in a family life that was very disorganized.  There was a lot of fighting, screaming, and yelling (and even more love).  This left me with a strong desire to be alone, in peace, and quiet.  LOL.  I resented having to share my solitude with Dee Dee and Jessica after we got married.


From there, we moved into a transition period.  This was the point in our marriage where something had to give.  It was make it or break it time.  I read some things that helped (I am an avid reader), finally coming to the conclusion that if anything was going to change, it would have to be me.  I, after all, only have control over myself.  With this in mind, I accepted the following two principles into my repetoire:
  1. Dee Dee deserves to be the most important person in my life, and treated that way.
  2. No matter how bad things got, nothing would ever tear apart our marriage.
We spent the next five years taking our shot at the restaurant business.  Dee Dee spent 50-60 hours a week working, at first with my support, then increasingly on her own.  The time away from each other did us some good.  We learned how to talk again.  How to work with each other and support each other (in triathlon too!).  We took our relationship to an even higher level.  I could not have said it any better than Dee Dee facebooked today.  I married my best friend.

Now, when Dee Dee does something, and I get angry, or something isn't happening the way I want it to, and I get upset, I realize that the fault lies with me.  It is I who needs an attitude adjustment.  I am being the ass.  CHANGE YOUR PERSECTIVE!!  I like to say, and I wouldn't have it any other way.



After twenty years, I can't imagine how my life would be with out you.  You are indeed my best friend, my lover, my life partner, and every day, I thank God for the blessings you have given to me.  Happy anniversary, my beloved...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go dry my eyes.  Something is irritating them....

Wes

32 comments:

Kim said...

aw wes, what a great story, brought tears to my eyes. congratulations to you and deedee. so happy for you both.

Chad in the AZ Desert said...

Amen. God bless both of you and your union.

Dee Dee said...

Thanks babe you rock! You know you are one hot dude after 20 years ! You make me want to bite you everyday!!!

Missy said...

Thanks for making me cry at work you SOB;)

Sounds like each year keeps getting better! Let's hear it for people who still actually LIKE their spouse!!! Like and Love, not the same.

Happy Anniversary!

Marcy said...

OMG I'm totally turning softy over here as I too have teary eyes. Ahhhh Wes this was really sweet.

LMAO at Dee Dee. Does she draw blood? ;-)

Stef said...

Now I have to dry my own eyes.

Thanks Wes for sharing this.

Happy Anniversary to the two of you.

Gotta Run said...

So sweet. Makes my heart feel good!!

need to call Scott now..... :)

An Athlete In Training said...

Wow, 20 years. Happy anniversary!!!

J~Mom said...

My eyes are all irritated as well!!!

Happy Anniversary!! You guys are awesome! You keep it real and your love shines through each and every day!

Lily on the Road said...

Oh, now you've made ME cry....

Here's to another 40 years together, may God give you those and many more ....

okay, now I've got to get this irritant out of my eyes....*sniff*


oh, Dee Dee, bite him for us too will you! LOL

LBTEPA said...

Happy anniversary to you and DeeDee ((HUGS))

Run for Chocolate said...

Yippee for Wes and DeeDee!!!! Thanks for sharing your story with us, its the best!

Carolina John said...

happy anniversary wes. 20 years is a long time. i'm like you though, have to make attitude adjustments every day. ups and downs all over the place.

Jess said...

Happy Anniversary to both of you!

Calyx Meredith said...

Lovely! I think you guys have the exact right mix of sweetness and sauciness. Let's hear it for another twenty!

Karen said...

aw... man .. that is so sweet!

I'm so happy for you both - its great when things work out so well!!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Juls said...

I'm in tears Wes. And I am so happy for the two of you.

redheadmomma said...

What an incredible gift you & DeeDee give to those around you by simply exemplifying what it means to have a loving, successful marriage. Happy, happy anniversary to you both! :) R

Shannon said...

Awwww you sentimental old coot!

Happy Anniversary! Your wifey is beautiful.

Go Mom Go said...

Thank you for that story, what a wonderful blessing you are to all of us.

Congratulations!

Michelle said...

Awwwwww..... beautiful post, Wes. Happy Anniversary to you both!!!

aron said...

happy anniversary!!! congrats on such a great marriage :)

Marni said...

I have two great people to inspire me and Karel for a lifetime of happiness and lots of love. How sweet..dee dee is super lucky!
-marn

Darrell said...

Best friend and life partner - as it should be. Happy 20th Anniversary. Hope you two have many more years together getting to know each other even better and better.

Jess said...

"I love to the depth, breadth, and height my soul can reach"

That finishes the fist few lines of Browning's poem, and really one of the most romantic poems there is. Sound slike a fitting description for you and Dee Dee. Congrats!

Andy said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

Hope there are many more years to come!

Murtha...

Annette said...

That's awesome. So many people bail instead of trying to fix the problems. Way to go! I can tell you two love each other. Awwwww! :)

Joe said...

Great post, Wes. Yeah, we have to start with changing ourselves. Many never get to that realization.

Congrats to you both! You are gems!!

Michelle said...

Wes do you have a brother??

I'm just saying!!!

Dee Dee is one lucky lady to have you in her life!! And ditto your lucky to have Dee Dee!!!

I hope in 20 years I am here reading your 40th anniversary post!!!

HAPPY 20th!!

Makita said...

Beautiful! You are both very fortunate to have found the one that brings you so much joy and happiness. Congratulations! :D

Geo said...

Happy anniversary and many more bites from DeeDee.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Great post, Wes. It has always been evident from your posts what kind of person you are but this seals it for me! You've done the work at making yourself the best you can be for her. You deserve all the rewards. I wish I could have understood this sooner. Sort of a late bloomer in the self reflection department. :D

Congrats and God Bless you two.