I would be this old.
Dee Dee would be that old.
Jessica would be graduated from college (I hoped, and out in the world).
I would have a job, and be doing this. Dee Dee that.
You get the general idea.
Every couple who has been married as long as Dee Dee and I have, has had the opportunity to experience the gamut of married life. Even story book weddings have their ups and downs. The first 8-10 years, I absolutely hated being married. This is no secret. Dee Dee knows it. I grew up in a family life that was very disorganized. There was a lot of fighting, screaming, and yelling (and even more love). This left me with a strong desire to be alone, in peace, and quiet. LOL. I resented having to share my solitude with Dee Dee and Jessica after we got married.
From there, we moved into a transition period. This was the point in our marriage where something had to give. It was make it or break it time. I read some things that helped (I am an avid reader), finally coming to the conclusion that if anything was going to change, it would have to be me. I, after all, only have control over myself. With this in mind, I accepted the following two principles into my repetoire:
- Dee Dee deserves to be the most important person in my life, and treated that way.
- No matter how bad things got, nothing would ever tear apart our marriage.
We spent the next five years taking our shot at the restaurant business. Dee Dee spent 50-60 hours a week working, at first with my support, then increasingly on her own. The time away from each other did us some good. We learned how to talk again. How to work with each other and support each other (in triathlon too!). We took our relationship to an even higher level. I could not have said it any better than Dee Dee facebooked today. I married my best friend.
Now, when Dee Dee does something, and I get angry, or something isn't happening the way I want it to, and I get upset, I realize that the fault lies with me. It is I who needs an attitude adjustment. I am being the ass. CHANGE YOUR PERSECTIVE!! I like to say, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
After twenty years, I can't imagine how my life would be with out you. You are indeed my best friend, my lover, my life partner, and every day, I thank God for the blessings you have given to me. Happy anniversary, my beloved...
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go dry my eyes. Something is irritating them....