Eight on the Eighth (Tenth)

A Virtual Race Report Celebrating the Olympic Games

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a dog that snores? It was a three dog night last night cause the l'il black dog needs Prozac, and we haven't found her a doggie psychiatrist yet. Oh, and the fact that Dee Dee went out of town and left me at home by myself certainly had something to do with it.

Yea. The dog snores, but you guys knew that already. Good thing for me, I didn't notice until it the sun had come up, or the beer had worn off. Which ever.

Yea. I said beer. My friend David was in town from Greenville, SC, and we entertained each other up at the restaurant for a good four hours last night. I, however, have been good. I've had very, very little to drink the last month, and I've been feeling great, and the sleep has been even better.

So, yea, the dog was snoring then the phone rang at 8:30 AM, and when I answered it, one of my neighbors was looking for their teen age son.

As if I would know ANYTHING about where to find lost teen agers. I mean, really. I usually find mine in the trunk of my car. I have no idea how those cement cinder blocks got tied to his ankles.

I tried to call eldest son. His phone went straight to voice mail. I left him a message and decided now. Now would be a good time to go for my run.

I haven't done a road race in forever. Virtual or otherwise. I Garmined up. Grabbed the heart rate monitor, slipped on the new shoes, and was out the door at 9ish. It was still relatively cool. My training plan called for an hour fifteen in zones 1-2. I figured 8 at a moderate pace was good.

Slapping the start button on the Garmin, I took off to challenge the hills of my neighborhood.

It's been a while since I whined about my neighborhood. Here. I'll make it quick. Hills. Blech! Hills. Whine! Hills, hills, hills. Boo freakin hoo....

After climbing out of my subdivision and onto the main road, I felt pretty good. I decided to carry a bottle of Tiger with me today, rather than wear my Fuel Belt. I picked up the pace long enough catch the down hill then enjoyed the easier pace to mile one. I was happy to see 10:20 as I crossed the first mile marker. Shortly after that, the route levels out for about six tenths of a mile. The second mile ends with another big hill, yet I still managed to negative split the sucker, coming in at 10:18.

It was around here that my intestinal issues began to manifest themselves. It would seem there is a direct correlation between alcohol, my nose, and my intestines. Just sayin...

Opting not to stop at Publix to use the restrooms, I soldiered on. About a half mile down the road, I realized that this was probably a mistake. Never the less, I enjoyed the absolute flatness of mile three. If I lived in the neighborhoods along this stretch of road, I could run mile loops forever :-) My third mile came in at 10:07. So far so good. My heart rate was creeping up, but I wasn't too worried about it.

At the end of mile 3, I made a right turn out onto a major four lane road. No matter which way you go, left or right, you get to go up a big hill. I opted to go right today. I wanted to do an out and back, rather than go left and do the hilly 8.3 circle I usually take.

Yea. That's a joke, but really. It IS less hilly. On the down side, there is no shade either.

I knew at the top of the hill there was a gas station where I could make a pit stop. Unfortunately, my mind tricked my body, and I had to stop and walk up the hill to keep myself under control. We were reaching a crisis. Lo and behold, I spied a port-a-potty on the side of the road. Touchdown!!! I ran over, opened the door, and let out a healthy sigh. The inside was clean as a whistle. Thank God for the construction going on this road.

At 9:30 AM in the morning it was starting to get hot out. I had worked up a healthy sweat and drank about half of my Tiger. Inside the vacating station, it was 140 degrees. The sweat just poured off. By the time I was done, I felt like I was stepping outside into air conditioning! LOL!! It felt so good.

Feeling much relieved, I enjoyed the flat stretch of road at the top of the hill, hit my fourth mile in 11:00, then turned around and headed home. Going back down the hill was a lot of fun, and I actually passed three or four runners that were out this morning. I reached the five mile marker where I made the left turn back into the neighborhood: 10:11.

By now, I realized that my legs were getting tired and perhaps, perhaps I was going too hard. Between miles five and six, I knew I was. My legs were just plain tired. I climbed the small hill back by Publix and turned in a paltry 11:20.

Then it was down the steep hill to the entrance to my subdivision. I love this stretch of road. I picked up the pace, knowing that this would be one of the last stretches of road I got to enjoy before the test. Evidently, my time didn't reflect this: mile 7 came it a 10:54.

Today, I admit it. The Test beat me. I don't like getting beaten by Mount Doom nor Ass-Kicker. Hell, they haven't beat me in so long, but today, I caved. I had to walk up each of them. Once I crested Ass-Kicker, it was all flat and down hill to the house, and I tried to pick up the pace a little bit, but my legs were just so tired. I cruised into the house with a total time of 1:24:42, for an average pace of 10:42.

My oldest son was home when I arrived. Evidently, the neighbor boy had lied to his Mom and Dad. Go figure. My little angel got to go back to sleep in his own bed. No trunk of the car for him today :-)

Wes

ORN: 8 miles, 1:24:42, 10:42 mmp